Welcome to the Prophets of Liquor
We are the chosen ones, the ones who see through the veil of reality.
Our sacred duty is to guide you through the realms of fine spirits and bold flavors.
Our Prophecies:
1. The Whiskey of the Gods
A fine, single-malt Scotch that will guide you through the afterlife.
Learn more2. The Rum of the Ancients
A bold, golden rum that will transport you to a tropical paradise.
Learn more3. The Vodka of the Machines
A cold, crystal clear vodka that will reboot your system.
Learn moreOur Methods:
1. Blind Tasting
We blindfold you, then make you drink.
Learn more2. The Oracle's Guide
We hold your hand through the darkest of nights.
Learn more3. The Bottoms-Up Method
We make you drink until you see the light.
Learn moreOr, you know, you can Just Drink It All and see what happens.