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By Professor Tachyon, renowned expert in chrono-mechanics and time-space navigation.
Time dilation, my dear students, is the art of manipulating the fourth dimension for personal gain and social advantage. It's a skill that requires patience, dedication, and a healthy dose of paranoia.
First, let's start with the basics. Time dilation is achieved by manipulating the fabric of spacetime, creating localized pockets of chrono-logical stability. This allows for faster-than-light travel, temporal looping, and the occasional avoidance of awkward social engagements.
For our first exercise, we'll be using the Tachyon-1000, a compact and user-friendly time dilation device. Please follow the instructions carefully, as the Tachyon can be a bit... finicky.