Who's to Blame for My Delays?

Are you tired of being late all the time? Do you find yourself constantly apologizing for being fashionably late? Look no further than our comprehensive guide to identifying the culprit behind your tardiness.

The Scapegoat: Your alarm clock, of course. A trusty companion to your slumber, but ultimately a ticking time bomb of doom, always ready to wake you at 6 AM and ruin your life.

A Special Report: Alarms and Why I Hate Thermals

The Saboteur: Your significant other, always asking you to 'just five more minutes' and 'I'll get up in just one more minute'. Meanwhile, the clock ticks on, and you're left with egg on your face.

The Saboteur: A Love Story of Woe

The Accomplice: Your own brain, a fickle and untrustworthy friend, always convincing you that 'just one more task' won't take that long, but somehow you end up binge-watching Netflix until 3 AM.

A Special Report: Brain, the Ultimate Saboteur

The Mastermind: The coffee shop down the street, always tempting you with its siren call of 'buy a latte, just this once!' and 'you can just do one more task, I promise!'

A Special Report: Caffeine and the Path to Nowheresville Subscribe to the Schedule-Itis Journal