Why Can't We All Just Be On Time?

By: The Schedule-Itis Institute

Issue: Vol. 1 No. 3, The Never-Ending Edition (circa 2024)

Why Can't We All Just Be On Time?

Subtitle: An Exploration of the Futility of Human Existence

By Dr. Emma Timekeeper, Director of the Institute for Temporal Irregularities

Quantifying the Latecomer Effect: A Study of the Statistical Significance of Being Fashionably Late

Why Aren't We All Just Using Alarms? A Critique of the Modern Convenience Culture