Warning: The following content is for entertainment purposes only. Do not attempt to actually follow these strategies, or you will never meet your deadlines.
Work for 25 minutes, rest for 5 minutes. Repeat for 8 hours. Congratulations, you've managed to accomplish nothing!
Pomodoro Technique FailWork on multiple things at once! It's like playing a game of "Which Task Will I Forget First?"
Multitasking Disaster StoriesPlan your schedule around your favorite TV show's episode count. "Just one more episode, and then I'll get started on that project!"
Binge-Watching Schedule TemplateA flowchart to help you determine the most efficient way to avoid work. Where's the beer fridge, anyway?
Procrastination Matrix DiagramJust pretend you meant to forget the task. It's not like anyone will notice.
Forgetting Tips and TricksRemember, the key to successful procrastination is to always have a good excuse, and a better excuse, and a best excuse... and a "I'm just taking a quick break" excuse.
Or, you know, just don't do any of these things and be a responsible adult. But where's the fun in that?
This page is brought to you by the Society for the Prevention of Adulting, with a special thanks to our sponsor, Binge-Watching Inc..
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