Quantum Pain 101: The Financial Edition

Course Description

Are you tired of making sense? Sick of being sane? Do you yearn for the existential dread of uncertainty? Then Quantum Pain 101: The Financial Edition is the course for you!

Learn the art of quantifying the pain of financial markets, from the thrill of watching your 401k hemorrhage to the agony of paying off student loans.

Course Outline

• Quantum Leverage: Because Who Needs a 50/50 Risk-Reward Ratio, Anyway?
• Quantum Portfolio Theory: The Art of Losing 30% Less Money Than Your Friends
• Quantum Bailout: Because You Can't Have Too Much of a Good Thing... Until You Do

Recommended Reading

For further reading on the subject, we recommend:

• Quantum Pain Theory by Philosophers: Because Even the Ancients Knew a Thing or Two
• Quantum Pain in Practice: A Case Study