In a bold move to disrupt the fabric of space-time, our researchers have successfully built a device that can generate a gravitational wave strong enough to knock over a nearby chair. The Laser-Induced Gravitational Wave Amplifier (LIGWA) uses a combination of high-intensity lasers, a pinch of moon rocks, and a healthy dose of hubris to create a wave with a frequency of precisely 1.21 gigahertz. The LIGWA is the perfect solution for any occasion that calls for a gentle yet firm nudge to a nearby celestial body.
In the words of Dr. Reginald P. Bottomsworth, our resident expert on all things LIGWA: "The LIGWA uses a patented combination of quantum fluctuations and carefully calibrated moon rocks to create a localized gravitational wave that can be felt for miles around." He continues, "The LIGWA is so simple to use, even a caveman could do it!"
But be warned, the LIGWA is not without risks. Prolonged exposure to its power has been known to cause spontaneous combustion, spontaneous human combustion, and spontaneous combustion of nearby objects. But hey, that's just the way the universe works, right?
The LIGWA has a wide range of applications, including but not limited to:
And that's not all, folks! The LIGWA is also available for rent, for a small fee, and a promise not to sue. Don't wait any longer, get your LIGWA today!