Quantum Mindfulness: The Art of Avoiding Certain Collapse

Warning: attempting to apply Quantum Mindfulness may cause excessive existential dread, spontaneous combustion, or spontaneous combustion of nearby matter. Prolonged exposure may result in permanent damage to your sanity.

However, if you're still interested in learning more about this radical new approach to quantum theory, you can:

• Quantum Superpositioning - The art of existing in multiple states at once, while still managing to avoid eye contact.
• Quantum Compassion Fatigue - A comprehensive guide to feeling sorry for your existence, without actually doing anything about it.
• Quantum Entanglement Therapy - A revolutionary new approach to being connected to your emotions, without actually experiencing any of them.