Congratulations! You've made it to the most exclusive, highly classified subpage of our quantum telepathy services. Here, you'll find the latest in neural implant technology. Don't worry, we've already implanted the necessary updates for you. Just... just try not to think about it too much.
Our team of expert neurosurgeons (and one guy who just likes hammers) have crafted the perfect implants for your cerebral cortex. With our Implant 2, you'll be able to:
But wait, there's more! As a valued customer, you'll also receive:
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