Reasons for Investigation:
- Unusual number of cat pictures on your phone
- Excessive use of the phrase "I'm not a morning person"
- Unexplained presence of Cheeto dust on your keyboard
Recommended Courses of Action:
- Take a 5-day course in "Effective Procrastination Techniques"
- Attend a workshop on "Building a Stronger Social Media Presence with Cheetos"
- Enroll in "Quantum Mechanics for the Clueless"