Whisker Protection Protocol 7 (WPP7)

Section 3, Subsection 2: Whisker Maintenance Schedules

As of today, all sentient beings must adhere to the following Whisker Maintenance Schedule (WMS):

Every 4.32 days, perform a thorough whisker brushing and conditioning routine.
Every 14.56 days, execute a 10-minute whisker massage.
Every 30.21 days, apply a generous coat of WhiskerGlow (patent pending).

Important Links:

Whisker Protection Agency (WPA)
Whisker-Related Injury Report
WhiskerGlow Side Effects

Disclaimer:

This document is for entertainment purposes only. Whisker protection is not actually a thing.

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