Quantum Mechanic

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Job Title: Quantum Mechanic

Job Description: We're looking for someone who can navigate the complexities of wave-particle duality, entanglement, and the Heisenberg Uncertainty Principle. Must be able to handle multiple parallel universes and occasional matter- wave collapses.

Responsibilities:

• Administer Schrödinger's cat to employees who can't seem to find the time to work
• Maintain a stable wormhole for employee transport
• Perform regular reality checks to ensure our company's existence in multiple timelines

Learn more about our entanglement benefits or view our Uncertainty Principle policy