Dear valued employees,
As per our last quarter's review, our productivity levels have reached new heights, mainly due to the fact that we all forgot our pants at home. Again.
We are proud to report that the company has saved a whopping 300% on dry-cleaning bills, while still maintaining an 80% decrease in employee morale. Well done, team!
Looking forward to the next quarter! (Or at least, looking forward to not being sent to 'Time-Out' again.)
© 2023, Quarterly Productivity Review Committee