Sky-Falling Survival Tips

Because you never know when the skies will literally be falling from the sky

Tip 1: Don't look up

Seriously, don't even think about it. Just walk away from the window and find a safe place to wait it out. Trust us, it's better this way.

Side effects may include: loss of appetite, spontaneous crying, and/or existential dread.

Read more about avoiding impending disaster

Tip 2: Stock up on canned goods

Because when the skies are falling, you won't be able to order pizza or have Amazon delivery. Be prepared!

Side effects may include: weight gain, carb loading, and/or temporary blindness from sugar highs

Read more about stockpiling for emergency situations

Tip 3: Learn basic first aid

You know, in case you need to patch up any friends or family members who get impaled by falling sky fragments. Don't worry, we won't judge you for your questionable stitching.

Side effects may include: temporary loss of motor function, chronic guilt, and/or permanent scarring

Read more about basic medical care for the modern survivalist
More Tips for the Advanced Survivalist