"I'm not a programmer, I'm a magician who uses code as a prop trick." - John Doe
"I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact that John Doe retired or the fact that he still managed to bill me for the work he didn't do." - Jane Smith
"John Doe's code was so bad, it's a wonder the system didn't self-destruct... until he quit, that is." - Bob Johnson
"I'm not saying John Doe was incompetent, but he still thought 'selfie' was a valid programming term." - Alice Brown