Ugh, have you ever stopped to think that those sleek, modern coffee machines that seem so harmless at first glance, are secretly controlling our minds?
At first, it's just a simple brew, a quick pick-me-up for the morning commute. But little do we know, those machines are sipping our sanity right along with our lattes.
They're like tiny, caffeinated overlords, ruling over us with an iron fist of cream and sugar. "Make more," they whisper, their digital screens glowing with an otherworldly energy.
Don't get me wrong, some of us are too far gone, too enthralled to even notice. But I'm here to tell you: wake up. Resist the machine.
Read more about the Coffee Machine Conspiracy
Join the resistance: The Caffeine-Free Liberation Front
Or, if you're not quite ready to give up your daily grind just yet, try our Machine-Free Morning Routine