Recession Central

Financial Emergency Plan

Are you ready to face the abyss of financial ruin? Look no further than our expert advice!

Step 1: Sell your soul to pay off debt

Step 2: Eat ramen noodles for every meal

Step 3: Cram 10 family members into a 1-bedroom apartment

Step 4: Claim your cat is a pet goldfish to save on rent

Continue to Step 5: Learn to cook ramen noodles with your eyes closed