LOST MY JOB? NO BIG DEAL!

401(k) NIGHTMARE

You thought you had a solid plan, but it's all just a bunch of worthless IOUs in a sea of worthless stocks. Better start flipping those old couches on Craigslist, pronto!

Financial Future: The Never-ending Horror Movie

Where's the plot twist? Oh wait, it's not that you didn't get a raise, it's that you still have to pay off your student loans. And don't even get me started on the interest rates.

Survival Tips from a Certified Expert (not really)

1. Eat ramen noodles for 37 days straight. You'll never go hungry, but you'll probably get scurvy.

2. Sell your old video game collection for a few bucks on eBay. You might just be able to afford a 6-pack of ramen noodles.

3. Practice your "I'm a struggling artist" pose in the mirror. You never know when a talent scout will walk by.