Ugh, it's not just me. It's everyone. The economy's a mess, and now I'm living in a van down by the river with a stack of overdue loan bills and a VHS player for company.
Why did it have to happen this way? I was just trying to live the American Dream: get a degree, get a job, get a mortgage, get a 401(k). But no, the market had other plans. Now my only income comes from selling artisanal, locally-sourced, small-batch artisanal pickles on the side of the highway.
But don't worry, I'm adapting. I've started a support group for fellow graduates who've also been crushed by the cruel whims of the economy. We meet at the old library every Thursday at 3 PM. Come one, come all!