Step 3: The Sausage Conundrum

Now that you've managed to not mess up step 2, it's time to tackle the real challenge: stuffing the bratwurst with a combination of sauerkraut and regret.

But don't just dump a handful of sauerkraut into the bratwurst like a college freshman at a frat house party - no, no, no. That would be amateur hour. You must carefully fold the kraut into the sausage casing with the finesse of a seasoned sausage whisperer.

To do this, hold the bratwurst over a flame until it's nice and toasty, then use a spatula to scrape the kraut into the sausage with the delicate touch of a neurosurgeon.

And if you're feeling extra fancy, add a dash of bacon jam to really make this bratwurst shine like a neon sign in the depths of the Black Forest.

Now, on to step 4: The Basting Fiasco! Next

(Note: If at any point you find yourself questioning your life choices, please refer to Lifechoices: A Support Group for help.)