Flapjacks of Despair: The Art of Cooking with Bacon

Where breakfast meets existential dread.

Bacon makes everything better. Except for your arteries.

Quantum Uncertainty Principle Krill-Infested Flapjacks

Recipe 1: The Bleak Existentialist's Guide to Flapjacks

Ingredients:

Mix the despair and existential dread in a bowl until you reach a state of nihilistic apathy.

Pour the mixture into a pan, top with bacon, and serve.

Optional: Add a dash of hope, but let's be real, it's not going to make a difference.