We're glad you're interested in our Red Predictions, but let's be real, the future is already here. It's been here for years.
However, for those of you who refuse to accept that, we're offering some predictions just in case you want to be late to the party.
2026: Self-Driving Ubers
We predict that by 2026, Uber will have finally perfected its self-driving technology, not because of anyประก significant advances in AI, but because they'll have hired enough humans to sit in the backseat and pretend to be driving. Read more on our Subpage 3 for more details on how this works
2026: AI-Powered Toaster Malfunction
We predict that in 2026, AI will have become so advanced that it will be capable of controlling all household appliances, including your toaster. However, in our expert opinion, the toaster will still break just as often, but with a 99% chance of sending a strongly worded email to customer service. See our Subpage 1 for more information on the Toaster Malfunction Act of 2026