Food Dispenser Predictions 2028

Welcome to Red Predictions 2028, where we've got our finger on the pulse of tomorrow, today. And tomorrow, we're predicting you're going to be really hungry. Like, "how-do-I-get-a-better-sense-of-priorities" hungry.

Robot Chef Dispensers will be all the rage. They're like regular old vending machines, but instead of Doritos, they'll be spitting out sushi and artisanal, small-batch hummus.

Space Dispenser Courtesy will be the new standard. No more pesky restaurants in space. Just grab your freeze-dried ice cream and go.

And don't even get us started on Quantum Dispenser Overload. It's like the food version of a timeshare, but with more calories.

Stay hungry, America!

Or, you know, just eat a salad.

— Red Predictions 2028