999 References to the Completely Unnecessary

References 2-999

Reference 999: "The Art of Not Doing Anything"

In this exhaustive study, 37% of participants failed to do anything productive for 3 hours straight. A 5-year follow-up study found that 100% of participants still had not achieved their goals.

Reference 998: "The Futility of Filing Taxes"

Our research indicates that 99.99% of respondents spent at least 4 hours filling out their taxes by hand. When asked why, 100% replied "I'm just not sure what I'm doing."