Regulations for the Utterly Ridiculous and Unnecessary Compliance Department

Section 1: The Department of Utterly Ridiculous and Unnecessary Compliance shall operate with the utmost disregard for sanity and reason.

Subsection 1.1: Mandatory Morning Coffee Consumption

All employees of the Department shall consume a minimum of 5 cups of coffee per day. Failure to do so shall result in disciplinary action, including but not limited to: forced attendance at a mandatory coffee tasting, reassignment to the "I'm-Not-Doing-Well" desk, or in extreme cases, termination.

Link to Mandatory Breakroom Snacks for more information.

Subsection 1.2: The Three-Hour Lunch Break

The Department shall observe a three-hour lunch break from 12:00 PM to 3:00 PM, during which time no work shall be done. Employees are encouraged to spend this time engaging in recreational activities, including but not limited to: napping, video games, or staring at walls.

Link to Optional Siesta Schedule for more information.

Subsection 2: The Department's Officially-Not-Officially Dress Code

The Department's dress code shall consist of the official "I'm-Not-Bothered" uniform, which may be purchased at any local thrift storeประก

  1. Optional Hats are strongly encouraged.

Link to Further Inquiries for more information.

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