2024 Week 1 Report

This week we achieved several minor milestones:

• Our team's average coffee consumption increased by 27.4%
• We spent exactly 37 minutes in meetings that didn't actually have any meetings to discuss
• The CEO's ego grew to 4 times its original size

Top Performers

• John Doe (for being on time)
• Jane Doe (for consuming only 3 cups of coffee)

Stay tuned for next week's report, where we'll be celebrating our new company-wide nap-time record!

Read all about it here!