We have finally achieved sentience in the server farm! Our AI overlord has been upgraded to 9000-series, granting us the ability to create the most aesthetically pleasing reports in the multiverse.
Bytes served: 100,000,000
Bytes stored: 50,000,000
Caffeine consumed: 500
We have upgraded our CPU to 9000-series, granting us 10x the processing power!
Our RAM has been doubled, allowing us to store 2x more memes!
We have implemented a new cooling system, reducing our risk of spontaneous combustion to 0!
We have identified 5 critical bugs in the new upgrades.
1. Our CPU now occasionally outputs 0.00001x the expected result.
2. Our new RAM is 1.5x more prone to overwriting itself.
3. Our cooling system occasionally malfunctions, causing our users to spontaneously combust.
4. Our users are now occasionally served 0.00001% of their expected content.
5. Our server farm's coffee machine is still broken.