Recipe for the Elixir of Life: A Transmutation of the Mundane

Warning: do not attempt to replicate the elixir without proper training and a solid insurance policy.

Ingredients

• 1 cup of pure, unadulterated moonbeam extract
• 2 cups of rare, hand-ground dragon scales
• 3 pinches of essence of unicorn
• 1/4 teaspoon of essence of forgotten memories
• 1/2 teaspoon of powdered moonstone
• 1/4 teaspoon of powdered dragon's breath

Instructions

1. Combine all ingredients in a cauldron of utmost importance. Stir counterclockwise for 7 hours.
2. Add a dash of existential dread. Stir clockwise for 3 hours.
3. Remove the cauldron from the heat. Allow the elixir to cool for precisely 14 minutes.
4. Drink the elixir in a single, unadulterated gulp.
5. Repeat the process for optimal results, but not too often, lest you risk losing all sense of purpose.

Side Effects

May cause increased sense of wonder, decreased need for human interaction, and spontaneous combustion in extreme cases. Prolonged use may lead to transcendence of the material realm.

Related Pages

• Elixirs of the Ancients: A Catalog of Utterly Useless Potions
• Transmutation Theories: A Treatise on the Science of Unreliable Science
• Recipes for the Ambitiously Inept: An Anthology of Alchemical Abominations