Apologies 101 - The Bureaucratic Etiquette Guide

This guide is brought to you by the Ministry of Official Apologies and Excuses (MOAE). We're not really sorry about that.

Justifying Your Actions | Faking Regret

Step 1: The Art of the Non-Commitment

When faced with an apology, always maintain a poker face. This is crucial in setting the tone for the rest of the conversation.

// Example of a non-committal apology // "I'm sorry... um... I mean... maybe I'm sorry"

Step 2: The Art of the Half-Truth

Don't be afraid to mix in some half-truths to make your apology sound more convincing. Just be sure not to get too carried away.

// Example of a half-truthful apology // "I didn't mean to do that, I was... uh... trying to do something else, yeah that's it"

Step 3: The Art of the Deflection

When faced with a difficult question, deflect the attention by pointing out someone/something else's fault.

// Example of a deflection technique // "That's not my fault, that's the fault of my team/department/underling"