3.1.1 Departmental Communication Protocol

When communicating with other departments, always remember: clarity is not a word, it's a luxury.

Section 3.1.1.1: The Art of Passive-Aggressive Email Writing

In this section, we will cover the art of writing emails that are simultaneously informative and subtly threatening.

When writing emails, always include the following elements:

• A clear subject line that doubles as a veiled threat.
• A tone that is 99% friendly, 1% condescending.
• A CC field that includes everyone who might possibly care.

Section 3.1.1.2: The Protocol for Not Responding to Emails

In this section, we will cover the art of not responding to emails without actually not responding to them.

When not responding to emails, always include the following elements:

• A 2-hour delay between sending and receiving the email.
• A "I'm on vacation" autoresponder that actually means "I'm just pretending to be on vacation".