Derelict Empowerment Program - FAQ

• What is the Derelict Empowerment Program?
  We're a team of highly-trained, ex-convicts who've dedicated their lives to teaching you, a fellow misanthrope, the art of living life on the fringes.

  • We're not just talking about your garden-variety, run-of-the-mill, cookie-cutter, suburban, middle-class, nine-to-fiver.
  • We're talking about the kind of person who's seen it all, done it all, and still managed to come out on top... or at least, still managed to not get caught.
• How do I join the Derelict Empowerment Program?
  Fill out our online application and wait for our team of highly-trained, ex-convicts to contact you.
• Is this a legitimate program?
  We're not saying we're a legitimate program. We're saying we're a program that's been endorsed by our partners in crime.
• Can I really trust the Derelict Empowerment Program?
  You can trust us as much as you can trust the words of a used car salesman.