Are you tired of living paycheck to paycheck? Do you dream of being so broke you have to eat ramen noodles for breakfast, lunch, and dinner? Look no further than Fjord Finance! Our expert team of financial wizards will help you dig a hole so deep in debt, you'll never be able to climb out.
Our loan services are tailored to fit your specific needs, whether you want to borrow money to buy another season of your favorite TV show, or to finance a timeshare in a remote, damp cave.
But wait, there's more! Our insurance services will ensure that if you do happen to get sunburned on a ill-advised beach vacation, we'll be there to help you cover the medical bills.
And don't even get us started on our consulting services! If you're a landlord who's not quite sure what they're doing, we'll be happy to help you figure out how to charge your tenants rent in pennies.
We're not your typical financial institution! Our goal is to take all your money, then slowly drain it dry.
We're like a shark, but without the whole "actually helping" part. Just like a big, hungry, money-eating machine.