"I bought this product, and I'm not even kidding, it's actually good! The color is nice, the shape is nice, the smell is nice... I mean, it's not like I'm some kind of savage who only cares about functionality, but seriously, it's fine."
"I was skeptical at first, but after one use, I was hooked! It's like the product was made for me, by the product gods themselves. I mean, who needs human hands when you have this thing? It's like it was made to solve all my problems, and then some."