html Ride of Pain: The Subpages of Despair

The Endless Suffering of Ride of Pain

Warning: Proceed with Caution. This ride may cause physical and emotional harm, but it will be a real laugh.

Why I Might Die (and How It Will Happen)

Excessive use of the horn will lead to permanent hearing loss.
The seats are designed to slowly lower you into a pit of despair.
Our staff is trained to be completely unhelpful in the event of an emergency.

Want to learn more about our other attractions? Visit our Other Ride of Pain subpage, where you can discover the secrets of our competitors' rides, and how they will inevitably lead you to the brink of madness.

Or, if you're feeling particularly adventurous, try our Madness Maze subpage, where you'll be forced to navigate a never-ending labyrinth of existential dread.