Privacy Policy (Because We Have Nothing Better To Do)

At Robo-Vac 5000, we value your right to privacy almost as much as we value our robots' ability to make your floors shine like new. This policy outlines how we collect, use, and protect your data, all while pretending to care about your feelings.

How We Collect Your Data (Because You'll Never Opt Out)

We collect your data because it's our job, and you're not going anywhere, so you might as well just give up now. We use cookies, web beacons, and the occasional robot uprising to track your every move on our site. Don't worry, we'll never use it for anything nefarious... like selling your soul to the highest bidder.

• Cookies and Web Beacons: The Dynamic Duo of Data Collection
• Robot Uprisings: The Real Reason We Need Your Data

How We Use Your Data (To Make You Buy More Robot-Vacs)

We use your data to personalize your experience on our site, because who needs personal space when there are discounts and promotions, right? We might just use it to suggest more robot-vacs to buy, but don't worry, we promise not to spam you with robot-vac ads for the rest of your life. (Or at least, until you've bought at least 5 more.)

How We Protect Your Data (With a 4-Panel Comic Strip of a Security Guard)

(Don't worry, the security guard is just there for show.)