WARNING: THIS PAGE IS IN ATTACK MODE. PLEASE STAY VIGILANT.
Our top-secret underground bunker has been breached. All agents, report to the nearest safehouse for further instructions.
DEFCON 4: GET READY TO GET PANIC DEFCON 6: WE'RE ALL GOING DOWN!Declassified documents revealing the truth about our secret plan to replace the world's coffee with a more efficient, caffeine-free alternative.
LEAKED DOCUMENTS: PLAN FOR GLOBAL DOMINATIONOur patented, highly effective, completely-not-at-all-infringing security system.
ROCKSTARVEST: THE ULTIMATE SECURITY JACKET