Welcome to the New Hire Process: The Thrilling Adventure Begins

Step 1: Fill out Form 27B/6

Please, for the love of all things sane, fill out this 27 page document with your life story, skills, and the names of your cat.

This is where we drill into your psyche, making you question your life choices, and wonder why you thought this was a good idea.

We will scour your every move, every purchase, and every questionable life decision. You will be judged.

This is where we indoctrinate you with our company culture, which is basically just a cult with better snacks.

This is where you will be thrown into the depths of madness, where you will either thrive or succumb to the corporate overlords.

This is where you will either become a productive member of society or a hollow shell of a human being, depending on your choices.

This is the end of the journey, where you will be either rewarded with a participation trophy or sent back to the depths of despair.

Please note that our company reserves the right to alter the New Hire Process at any time, without warning or explanation. You have been warned.

Also, please do not attempt to escape or hide in the supply closet. We have cameras.