FOO'S BALL LEAGUE RULES

Section 1: The Unwritten Rules

Article 1: Foosball is not just a game, it's a way of life.

  1. Players must wear only the most ostentatious, over-the-top outfits, or risk being ejected from the league.
  2. Each player must maintain a minimum level of caffeine-fueled hyper-aggression throughout the game.
  3. Team captains must have a minimum of 10,000 followers on social media, or risk being considered irrelevant.

The Unwritten Rule of Social Media Presence

Section 2: Social Media is not just a tool for self-promotion, it's a requirement for entry.

  1. Players must post a minimum of 5 Instagram posts per week, featuring themselves in various states of undress.
  2. Team captains must maintain a minimum of 100 likes per post, or risk losing all credibility.
  3. Tweets must include at least 3 relevant hashtags, or risk being ignored by the league.

Section 2: Game Day Regulations

Article 2: Foosball is not just a game, it's a contact sport.

  1. Players must wear approved, high-impact protective gear at all times during gameplay.
  2. Any player found to be faking injuries will be subject to a minimum of 5 minutes' time-out.
  3. Referees must have a minimum of 10 years' experience, or risk being sued for malpractice.

Section 3: Penalties and Disciplinary Action

Article 3: The League is not for the faint of heart.

  1. Any player found to be cheating, either on or off the court, will be banned from the league for life.
  2. Repeat offenders will be subject to a minimum of 5 consecutive games in the penalty box.
  3. Players who fail to show up to 5 games in a row will be subject to a minimum of 10 hours of community service, cleaning the bathrooms.
Section 4: The Spirit of Foosball Section 5: Our League Sponsors