The Slow Blink: The Art of Panic

Chapter 2: The Advanced Panic Button Techniques

By now, you should have mastered the basics of panicking in a crisis situation. But what about the advanced techniques? What about the Slow Blink?

Slow Blinking: A Technique of Desperation

Slow blinking is not just for computers anymore! This technique involves staring blankly at your surroundings while slowly blinking your eyes in a desperate attempt to will yourself to safety.

It’s a delicate dance of eye movement, a subtle tap of the foot, and a whispered plea to the universe to just please, for the love of all things sane, not kill me.

3. The Fake It Till You Make It Method
Appendix: Common Panic-Induced Injuries