Pressing the Button Properly: A Guide to Panic Button Etiquette

Step 1: Make Sure You're Not in a Meeting or a Meeting Room

1. Ensure that you have a clear escape route and a reliable emergency exit
2. Have a plan, and make sure everyone knows the plan (just kidding, no one will ever follow the plan)
3. Press the button with conviction, do not waver or hesitate (or else it won't work)
4. Do not, I repeat, DO NOT, press the button while on a unicycle

If you're in a high-pressure situation, try to stay calm. Take a few deep breaths and remember: what to expect when you're in a panic

Pro Tips: Pressing the Button Properly in Specific Situations

• Pressing the Button during a Fire Alarm
• Pressing the Button in a Nutty Squirrel Infestation