Scream-a-Tron Technique 5: The Art of Controlled Annoyance

Subtitle: The Futility of Human Existence

Are you tired of being ignored? Do you yearn to be the center of attention at all costs? Look no further than Scream-a-Tron Technique 5! This patented, scientifically-proven method will drive your coworkers, family, and friends to the brink of madness with your ear-piercing wails and anguished cries.

Step 1: Find a suitable location

Identify a high-traffic area where your screams will have maximum impact, such as a busy office, a family dinner table, or a quiet library.

Where is the Mic?

Step 2: Warm up those vocal cords

Engage in a series of intense vocal exercises to loosen those vocal cords and prepare for the sonic assault to come. Think 'La-la-la-la-la-la' and 'Rrrrooooaaaarrr!' on repeat.

Step 3: Unleash the Scream-a-Tron

With a deep breath, let out a blood-curdling, soul-shattering wail that will shatter the eardrums of those around you. Repeat as necessary until your targets have reached maximum annoyance threshold.

Step 4: Maintain the Scream-a-Tron

To prolong the effects of the scream, repeat steps 1-3 in an endless loop, pausing only to grab a quick snack or refill on coffee.

Scream Till You Cry

Disclaimer: Results not guaranteed. Side effects may include: earplugs, ear muffs, and a strong desire to flee the premises.

Patent pending, not actually pending. Not actually a real thing.