Advanced Panic Button Techniques
Tired of just pressing a simple panic button? Want to take your anxiety management game to the next level? Look no further! This is where the pros come to play.
Technique 1: The Frenzied Flail
Also known as the 'Flail of Desperation', this technique involves wildly flailing your arms and legs while simultaneously shouting "I'VE GOT A PANIC ATTACK!" at the top of your lungs. It's like a cardio workout, but for your anxiety!
Learn more about Technique 2: The Spontaneous SobTechnique 2: The Spontaneous Sob
This technique involves suddenly and without warning bursting into uncontrollable sobs, while simultaneously hyperventilating like a fish out of water. It's a great way to clear out the office, or get kicked off a plane.
Learn more about Technique 3: The Angst AerialTechnique 3: The Angst Aerial
This technique involves constructing an elaborate, intricate narrative about the futility of existence, while floating above your body like a ghost, observing the chaos below. It's a great way to get some much-needed perspective.
Learn more about Technique 4: The Creative Catastrophe