Panic Button Techniques: The Art of Overthinking Everything

Technique #1: The Fleeing

Quickly exit the room, but not before grabbing a few essential items: your wallet, phone charger, and a spare set of socks. Don't forget to lock the door behind you.

Learn more about calling your dad for help

Technique #2: The Frenzied Google Search

Frantically type "what do I do now?" into Google, then click on the first result that says "just calm down."

Check if your mom's email has any helpful tips

Technique #3: The 3-AM Wake-Up Call

Call your best friend at 3 AM to have a 10-minute conversation about how you're going to die alone in your apartment.

Technique #4: The Self-Induced Vomiting

Stare intensely at the wall for 20 minutes, then suddenly remember you left the oven on and rush back home.

Call a taxi to take you anywhere but here