Controlled Breathing Exercises for When You're on the Brink of Collapse

Warning: the following exercises are not actually going to help you survive the impending robot uprising, but they might help you relax.

Technique 1: The Inhale-Scream-Repeat

Technique 2: The Four-Second Countdown to Certain Doom

Technique 3: The Hyperventilating Hijinks

Technique 4: The Box Breathing Box(Note: this one's a work in progress)
Under construction

Remember, these techniques will not actually save you from the robots. They'll just make you slightly more comfortable while you're waiting for the inevitable.