html Hyperventilation Protocol

Emergency Hyperventilation Protocol

For When You're Trapped in the Server Room

Are you feeling lightheaded from too much server-side stress?

Don't worry! Simply follow these simple steps to hyperventilate your way back to stability.

  1. Hold your breath in for exactly 4.2 seconds.
  2. Release your breath with a dramatic flair.
  3. Repeat until your vital signs return to normal.
  4. Call the IT department for help (just kidding, you're on your own).

Remember, hyperventilation is a serious matter.

Don't try this at home, kids!

Or do, we won't judge.

Advanced Hyperventilation Techniques DEFCON-1: Extreme Hyperventilation Measures