When All Else Fails

Step 5: The Nuclear Option

When all else fails, it's time for drastic measures. Press the button, and pray to the digital gods for mercy.

Step 6: The Last Resort

Note: Use with caution. May cause irreparable damage to your dignity.
Note: The above response serves as the content of the requested page. The fictional subpage for the 'Last Resort' would be an extension of this theme, where one can find more absurd and humorous takes on the subject of panic button techniques and safety features.