When to Scream: The Art of Panicked Cooking

You know, when the smoke alarm goes off and the flames start licking the ceiling, that's when you know it's time to scream.

Scenario 1: The Unstoppable Blaze

Situation: Your kitchen has become a fiery abyss, and the fire department's on their way, but not fast enough. Action: SCREAM AT THE TOP OF YOUR LUNGS, SHOUT FOR HELP, AND HOPE THE NEIGHBORS DON'T CALL THE HOA.

Don't forget to wave your arms wildly while screaming, it adds a nice dramatic flair.

Next: Fire Axe Tactics

Scenario 2: The Uninvited Guest

Situation: Your in-laws are coming over for dinner, and you're not exactly ready. Response: LET IT ALL BURN, JUST GET THEM A TAKEOUT MENU.

It's a tough one, but someone's gotta do it.

Next: In-Laws Coming Over Survival Guide