When attending a gathering hosted by Saint Sebastian, be prepared for an evening of merriment, intrigue, and possibly a few awkward silences.
Here are a few tips to help you navigate the complex world of saintly etiquette:
When Saint Sebastian invites you to their parade, don't be late! Arrive early, and by 'early' I mean 'on time'. You know, for the sake of appearances.
Remember, a gift is not a bribe, but rather a sign of respect. A nice bottle of fine wine or a bouquet of flowers will do the trick. Just don't show up with a 'gift' in a cardboard box with a 'Made in China' label.
Trust me, you don't want to be 'seen' wearing a highchair to a church function. Stick with something more... modest. Unless, of course, you're attending a baby's first communion, in which case, go wild.
And that's it! With these simple tips, you'll be well on your way to becoming the most popular saint in the conclave.
Stay classy, stay saintly.