Today's soup selection includes:
• Broccoli Cheddar Soup: A classic comfort food with a hint of bitterness
• Creamy Tomato Soup: A rich and creamy delight with a side of existential dread
• Tomato and Basil Soup: A refreshing escape from the crushing ennui of existence
Note: Please do not attempt to order the "Special of the Day" soup, as it is actually just a vat of ketchup.