NEO-BRUTALIST TIPS: Don't Get Fooled by the Fattening Frenemy
Listen, let's get real here. You think those trendy new restaurants on the corner are serving you a healthy meal?
No, they're serving you a gut-busting heart attack in a bowl. That "artisanal" hummus? Just a bunch of chickpeas with a side of regret.
Here's a tip: when in doubt, trust your instincts. If it's got a picture of a sad, lonely egg on the menu, don't order it. That's just code for "we're trying to fill you with regret and a sense of despair."
And another thing: if it's got a picture of a happy, smiling egg on the menu, don't trust it either. That's just code for "we're trying to fill you with false hope and a side of egg salad that'll stick with you for weeks."
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